Lessons

Lessons Life has taught Me over the past Year(s)

Don't give up
Stay strong
Love with your entire heart (unconditionally)
Actions speak louder than words
Listen to your heart, soul and mind (in that order)
Don't shut down on people you love
Forgive
Be forgiven
Listen
Be open
Words spoken in anger hurt
Be honest, the truth is always better
Be faithful
Kindness matters
Good people can do bad things
Pain helps you grow (even though it sucks)
It's never too late
Nothing is set in stone
It's alright to cry (alone or with someone)
Hearts can be broken (a patch will grow and slowing mend your heart)
Scars are beautiful
 Love yourself
Believe in miracles
Little things are important
There is such a thing as true soul mates
 Time doesn't make ALL things better (just a bit softer)
There are things you never get over (they become a part of you)
Smile everyday (even if that's the last thing you want to do)

Wave "Hi" more
You can never care too much
Go outside everyday
Spend time alone
Dance
Laugh so hard you snort or cry
All good things don't have to end
All people are not nice (there are some real assholes out there)
Text less, talk more
Hug someone everyday (even it is your dog or cat)
Sing
Pray
Take care of your body (it's the only one you will ever have)
Always wear mascara and lip color
It's alright to say "No"
Pay it forward
I am perfectly imperfect

Keep good memories, let go of the bad ones

Don't be an ostrich
Accept your flaws (they make you human)
Don't change for another person (if you change, do it for yourself)
Sit in silence (you will be amazed at what you hear)
Deep breaths help
Keep learning
Life is precious
Money doesn't buy happiness (it buys stuff, you can look good while being sad)

There are no guarantees in life

Say "I love you" (show it with actions, that's even better!)

Everyone has baggage they need to let go of
My Story isn't over (starting a new chapter)

The Chair

The chair was a garage sale reject that was not bought.  It sat at the corner with a sign on it, "Free."  
It was wooden.  It had a tray that came over from the back to the front and rested on the arms of the chair.  It had scratches in the wood, it looked well used.

I loaded the chair up and took it to my daughters house, Dexter's Aunt Addie.
The chair will be good for Dexter, my youngest grandchild  sit in the chair when we have family dinners at her house.

Dexter sat in the chair a couple of times.  He was not fond of it.  He did not like the tray.  It took him no time at all to figure out how to move the tray from the front to the back, allowing him to have the chair up to the table like a big boy! Sitting at the table in the chair didn't last very long.  Dexter rejected the chair and it ended up in the garage.

When I went to Adrianne's house I would look at the chair.  I wondered how many  little bottoms had been plopped in the chair when it was time for a snack, meal time, or just to sit and watch someone making dinner while playing with a toy.

I told Adrianne maybe if I painted the chair Dexter would like it better.  I brought the chair home and put it in my garage. The chair sat in my garage for several weeks.

One day I decided it was time to paint the chair.
Maybe blue or white?
Paint his name on it, or "Time to Eat", "Chow Time", "I'm Hungry', or "Feed Me"?

I began to think about Dexter.  What did he like?  What was his favorite thing to play with?  What was his favorite show on The Disney Channel?  Each question had the same answer.  Mickey Mouse.

Dexter and I play with his Mickey Mouse toys.  We watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. We dance The Hot Dog Dance together.  He LOVES Mickey Mouse.  I LOVE Dexter.

I knew how to paint the chair!

As I painted the chair I felt my love for Dexter.  I infused my love for Dexter in the chair.

Dexter loves his "new" love infused chair.  I HAD to add Mickey Mouse Ears! Also remove the tray.  Dexter is a "big boy"

 Infuse love in you life and in your actions!!!!!

Relationships.....just my thoughts

Just my thoughts................

When you are in a relationship, you want the relationship to be "the one"............


Love them unconditionally.
Like them.
Trust them.
Be honest with them.
Forget their past.
Forgive them.
Be proud of them.
Have their back.
Hug them.
Don't try to change them.
Laugh with them.
Kiss them.
Cry with them.
Share with them.
Listen to them.
Make them smile.
Take care of them.
Let them know they are important.
Fight for them.

Tell them what they mean to you...


When two people are in a relationships, both are responsible for maintaining the relationship. There is a reason you are in the relationship.  There is a reason that you love that person.  You just have to remember and look at them again, through the eyes you first saw them with.  The feeling you had when you began the relationship with them.   It's  still there, just buried in "junk."

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship...

 Maintaining a relationship is not easy, it takes work.  So many people give up and throw away something that could have been wonderful.  They quit, thinking "it is too difficult, there will be a better relationship in their future".  How can there be if with that mind set??

If it is worth it to you, if they are worth it, isn't it worth being the kind of person that you would like to be in a relationship with....a until one of us leaves the earth relationship?

I am not saying to be a "door mat".  There will be a person you love that will take advantage of you.  You will know if that happens.  Don't let the love you have for them blind you.  There is no happiness being in a one-side relationship. If they are not "in" the relationship with you, stop, move forward.

Keep you heart open, keep looking.....

Every "Ellie deserves Carl."  Every "Carl deserves Ellie." (Have you seen the movie UP?)

People thought that you needed me.  What they didn't know is I needed you more.

Forever Changed

When ever I heard of a parent  having a child die no matter the age of the child I would think to myself that I could never imagine how they felt. My heart went out to them. I would ask God to help them
and to watch over the family.
Now I am that parent.
On May 28th 2013, a Tuesday, my youngest child, my only son was killed in a car accident.
I am  forever changed.
There is a "club" that I joined unwilling that day. Every parent that has had a child die is a member.  The death of a child is the worst kind of grief that anyone could image.  Only the members of the "club" know the feeling of this grief.  There are no actions or words that soften it.
I was watching one of my favorite TV shows, NCIS.  Ziva (one of the characters on the show) was speaking to a young girl whose father had died. The young girl asked "do you ever get over the loss?"
 Ziva replied "Loss is a part of life, but how we respond to it is a very personal thing. One gets over the loss of a wallet or a watch, but a loved one?  They never leave you. You never get over it.  You only get through."
Funny that a television show explained dealing with grief.  "We will never get over it, we get through."  Kurt and I didn't loose our child.  We know where he is.  He is with us everyday.  Nic is in our hearts forever. We will never "get over it." We are forever changed.  
Today is the one year Angelversary.  The day Nic left the world.  Will it be more difficult than the past 364 days? No.  Will it be more difficult that the coming days?  No.  I have been told numerous times that with the passing of the days that my grief will get softer. I like softer.  When it comes to me I will welcome it.

My little cowboy

Maddox grandchild #3 dressed for Cowboy Day. Cutest cowboy at preschool :-)

With you

Thank you for the KISS picture

Job

You men have no idea what we're dealing with down there. Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suction, and gag reflex, and all the while bobbing up and down, moaning and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don't call it a job for nothin'. --- Sex In The City

Me

I know it seems like I'm this strong person who can get though anything, but inside I'm fragile. I've had so many things thrown at me, and each one has only made a crack. What I'm afraid of is shattering.

Save my Brain Cells

If one of my brain cells died every time you made me sad

If one of my brain cells died every time you make me cry

If one of my brain cells died every time you made me mad

If one of my brain cells died every time I ask why……

I know that there would be nothing left in my head

I would be declared totally, 100% brain dead!!!!!

Puzzle

Love is like a puzzle. When you're in love, all the pieces fit but when your heart gets broken, it takes a while to get everything back together. "

~ Unknown

I love getting these

Don't we all love getting little love notes left for you to find.......from the one and only love of your life?

10 Things You Might Not Know About Me

1.  I wanted to join the Navy when I was 18

2.  When I am alone on weekends I do my housework in the nude

3.  I would like to meet Oprah

4.  I have 12 scars

5.  I would like to spend the weekend at a nudist camp (no housework though)

6.  I keep a written journal

7.  I have 11 tattoos

8.  I have been close to death twice.  (both times after surgeries)

9.  I want a sleeve tatted on my right arm

10. I have planned my own funeral service

fluffy.....

i like fluffy......

fluffy pillows, fluffy clouds, fluffy blankets, fluffy cotton balls.
there are things that are meant to be fluffy.


there are things that should never be fluffy...

your body.  if you have a "fluffy" body it is a nice way to say you are fat!
your hair. if you have "fluffy" hair it is a nice way of saying that your hair is a dry, fly away mess!

Me

i am not a perfect girl.  my hair doesn't always look good & I misplace things,a lot.  i spill things & sometimes i have a broken heart. i sometimes fight. maybe some days nothing goes right.  but when i think about it & take a step back i remember how amazing life truly is & that maybe, just maybe i like being unperfect.........author unknown

Then and now

I found this on my bathroom mirror when I got up one morning:) All I have to say to is Back at You!!!! ................Loved you then (1978), Love you now (2011), Always have, Always will.

It is time

are you lost?  not sure of who you are? when did this happen? how did it happen?  did it happen slowly? did you even notice that it was happening? did you wake up one day and say "WTF????" or did it happen all at once, like a jethro slap on the back of your head? 
did you look in a mirror, look straight into your eyes and say "who is this person?"
it is time to find "you"

don't let other people fool you...
they don't know the "real" you or the you that you once were.
people are giving you a false you
it might be a you that you think you want to be, or should be
you didn't choose this you
it was given to you by someone
how can you let that happen?
you are the only one that can find....you
you might think it's too hard
a painful journey, one that you do not want to take alone
you have to...
to be happy, to live your life, to move forward,
enjoy, be the you that YOU want to be

go...........take the first step
then another
the more steps you take the easier they become
the steps will come faster and faster
the journey becomes and adventure.
the adventure of your life

feeling.....................

i still feel sick, getting better...it will just take  a little time to ride this out.  i can do it. other than that i am feeling  bit weak and sleepy.......................zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Forgiveness

Forgiveness has to start with ones self.  If we forgive it does not mean that we support or condone everything that we have done.  It means we own it, claim it.  Accept we were wrong and move on. We can not become self absorbed in berating ourselves that we never quite reach forgiveness.  We have to let go and move on to forgive ourselves.  If we don't forgive ourselves, how do we forgive others?

How.......

just wondering ............... how do you know?